the medicine.

i awaken into mysterious fantastic light, dim and foreboding, the clouds a rich darkness, caught in night’s losing battle against the coming day. the trees wave their barren arms, twisted bolts of wooden lightning, in a brisk morning wind. i step outside to capture the bite of cold, wake myself up,  feel the sting of the bitter concrete on the bottoms of my feet, feel the continuing drizzle, wish there was a convenient spot to put my bike where it wouldn’t get soaked. in an hour i would realize that i neglected to set my alarm clock back an hour from the day before. my desire to go back to sleep in overridden by my desire to get some reading done. burning through pages, i close my eyes a few minutes at a time here and there to refresh them. another week begins. another week in a life that has changed and yet not changed.

and has it really been over a month? it seems an eternity and an instant. over a month of living next to that one girl i know. but what is different? much. and little. marriage seems a equalized mix of contrasts and sameness. our relationship is our relationship. but now we get to hang out deep into the night, share a bed, instead of saying goodnight and leaving. people consider the other when they consider one. we are one. but the friendship grows in tough times and glad. years? bring them, happily will i accept.

i think back to an earlier adventure that brought us along the rugged coasts of three beautiful states, winding goat-path roads, hippie cities, deserts, sea-spray beaches, cliffs of insanity, forests of trees tall beyond reason. two weeks in a borrowed truck seeing a bounty of beautiful places and days, friends and family, a richness of life brought through time spent together and the open road of adventure.

we have been back now for two solid weeks (which also seem an eternity and an instant), and life picks up. few days have been empty days to breathe, relax. but they have been good days….

two days after our return from the west we had plans, and tickets, to see a david crowder concert (their last tour!) in lafayette, indiana. on tuesday. but tuesday came and went with its own pile of chaos and our minds latched onto wednesday as concert day. and on wednesday we scrambled to find tickets for the show in indianapolis when we finally realized that the madness of our busy lives had confused us to a terrible degree. but luckily there was a lady on craigslist with two tickets. both steph and i emailed her, but steph got to her first and i received a reply that the tickets were just sold. little did she know that they were just sold to my wife. so that worked out well. we lament the useless loss of the lafayette tickets, but are glad we still got to see the show. counter: band number three that i have unfortunately only seen on their farewell tour.

as this is the first fall we have spent together, it was also the first halloween. due to my love of them, we halloweened as calvin and hobbes; i as the tiger, she as the boy. we drew lines on a red shirt, spiked a blond wig to madness with elmers glue.  we used two long-sleeve orange shirts with the ripped strips of black shirts and much more glue to create my tiger’s skin. a couple of intoxicated college kids shoutingly deemed them the best costumes ever.

work slows as the winter cools and all things freeze, people and their donations included. the earth prepares for its annual hibernation. the people prepare to endure. but it being the fall all sorts of givings increase to an amazing amount. thanksgiving and Christmas usher in their own sort of madness with events galore. this year we will give turkeys to several hundred people. for josh the process to prepare for this has been a bit ridiculous, but things are getting smoothed out. i have yet to see such a massive distribution, but am excited. and i think that it will be alright.

….awake now in a strangely lit world, clouded and shrouded in eerie mists, drizzling rain, i as well prepare for winter, willing it and yet reluctant to let go of a beautiful autumn. and there is also this other part of me that asks, ‘wait: summer’s over?’

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